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Couples Counseling: Should you go alone or with your partner?

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They may not be sure what they can expect from couples counseling. Most likely, the couple is in crisis and turning to a neutral third party for help to create healthier relationships with marriage and family therapist salary. For many husbands and wife, or long-term partners, unhealthy patterns are formed that can be hard to break.

Some destructive habits can be modeled from childhood issues. For example, if the father of a male partner was violent, it is possible that he will also struggle with anger. Women who had absent dads may pick a husband who’s unavailable. Sometimes people pick partners in order to resolve issues they had as children. People who have divorced often select a new partner that has similar characteristics. The feeling is familiar, and the person wants to fix past problems. Counseling may help resolve these issues.

The question may arise whether each partner should consult a counsellor individually or in a group. Each approach has its pros and cons, which is why a combination of the two might work best.

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Both partners can work together on issues and talk about them in a united manner when both meet their counselor. In addition, the therapist is able to observe the dynamic between the couple and can gain valuable insight. When one partner doesn’t take the time to listen or is rude, the therapist gets a good look at the dynamics. The way people talk or act is often not noticed by others. You could use filming to show them what they’re doing.


Soliciting each partner’s turn in seeing the therapist allows each person to express things that they might not be comfortable saying before their partner or spouse. This can be a more comfortable way to share difficult information. In the case of a spouse who is fearful of another or does not want to hurt their feelings, the person will probably avoid bringing up the subject in front of her or his partner.


One method involves having the person with whom you are working spend fifteen minutes together, followed by a final thirty-minute session. The interaction will be fairly extensive. The sessions would not be long but they could still work as periodic appointments.